Solo Farce Will Be With You Always oh god i actually said that send help

What, exactly, were we expecting?

 

 

Han Solo shrugging.
“Sorry about the mess.”

 

Such a question defines not how we see new Star Wars films, but how we see any film. Pazaak cards on the table: I did not enter this movie in good faith. Solo: A Star Wars Story originally had Chris Miller and Phil Lord (The Lego Movie, 21 Jump Street) as directors. You’ll notice they’re famous for comedies. You’d guess that their version of Solo would be an improv-heavy satire that mocked its own premise. Disney did not foresee this. Lucasfilm fired both directors during production, hired Ron Howard as a replacement, and reshot 70% of the movie into something less… ok, I’ll stop the preamble. Howard reshot the Solo farce into something less good. A lot less good. I may seem close-minded here, but the movie didn’t even open a window for me.

 

 

That half-remembered backstory informed my viewing of Solo. Turns out, upon further research, Miller and Lord did respect the project in their own strange way. The movie never would have been an intentional send-up. But did it become unintentional satire? I walked into the theater expecting at least so-bad-it’s-funny from Solo. I barely even got that. 15% of the movie consists of dumb, but successful jokes noting how shallow the Star Wars mythology can be. 15% of the movie is regular dumb. The worst part is that, for the remaining 70%, I can’t tell which is which.

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I Exposed the MyTrendingStories Scam. Here’s Their “Perfect” Apology

Oh, this’ll be good.

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Cue “Ironside
At the end of March 2018, I detailed my history with the MyTrendingStories scam (henceforth MTS). They’re a content mill that preys on writers less like mosquitos and more like gnats. Today, I’ll follow up on the original article. My exposé had two copies on the web: one on my personal blog and another on the MTS domain itself. Revenge is a dish best served with salt in the wound. Part 2 of this story begins and ends with that second upload, and revolves around how MTS delivered the “perfect” apology under the worst circumstances.

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Word Salad Spinner Update: 5/21/2018

Here’s a quick heads-up on the site’s incoming content. I’m still not ready for whatever this blog’s official “re-launch” will be, so don’t hold your breath. But now that my job-hunting days are behind me, these incoming posts will represent an end rather than a beginning.

The FTL Story begins! I think!

At the beginning of May, I announced my long-secret project: an ambitious “FTL: Faster Than Light” story running exclusively on the Twitter-based platform Everyst. Technical difficulties delayed this start. As of writing, the first day has fully uploaded, so I assume matters will move smoothly from here. After each in-story day, I’ll discuss certain aspects of the writing process on my Twitter account, which you can follow here. Read the story by downloading the app here.

EDIT: The upload for this story continues as scheduled. However, contrary to what the team and I originally planned, a new part of the story will be added each week instead of each day. Part 2 begins on 5/27/2018.

One more Borgen Project article!

I’ll accompany this with some final thoughts about the internship.

The MyTrendingStories Saga continues!

MyTrendingStories sent me an email two weeks back. I’ve tried to publish the follow-up to my original expose since, but I’ve dug up a lot of crazy since. I plan to update everyone sometime in the next week. And speaking of sagas…

A review of “Solo: A Star Wars Story”!

My love of Star Wars takes effort to maintain after The Last Jedi. Everyone I meet IRL, friends and coworkers and family alike, love the movie. I even consider Episode VIII the third best film in the saga. It’s only online where I hear fans spew hate over Rian Johnson destroying their favorite fan theories. I feel a disconnect from the community, is what I’m saying. That’s what fuels my hype for “Solo: A Star Wars Story.” That movie’s gonna be a piece of shit. Great art can survive troubled productions, but every sign I see hints at a giant embarrassment arriving on screen this Friday (though whether fans admit that at first will be interesting). If you think I’m a mark for Star Wars, you’re right… I will love every cringy, stilted, faux-fun moment this movie throws up, and I’ll be laughing all the way! Punch it, Chewie!

Reasons Why Poverty Leads To Extremists

This article is the most important submission I wrote for The Borgen Project. It corrects a widely believed misconception, and it’s a helpful link to give friends and family who hold tight to that misconception. So it bugs me to no end that the article, while in the Borgen Project Blog’s Archives, has no singular link. I present its fully edited form below the image.

4 Reasons Why Poverty Leads To Extremists

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Job Programs Versus Payouts for the Poor

The title issue involves more than just people in poverty. How we structure our economic system will affect all of us, and I’m proud to help illuminate people on either side of the issue: https://borgenproject.org/job-programs-versus-payouts/

I talk often about what my editor cut and didn’t cut, but nothing can compare to what changed with this article’s draft. As in: a section about how Universal Basic Income can mitigate the damage of an A.I. workers revolution, constituting a third of the article, was removed in its entirety. A part of me’s still hurt about this change. But I know that Universal Basic Income (UBI) is not the most capitalistic solution to poverty (though it is a good libertarian one don’t @ me). In both my personal editing and in my peers’ proofreadings, rants about a certain cause get cut first. The only exception is when the rant is the entire piece. The cliche writing advice is to “kill your darlings,” but the other alternative is “kill everything except your darlings.”

Again, the article can be found in this link. And if you like my work, why not donate to the cause as well?

Why Laws Are Not Enough to End Poverty in South Africa

You thought I reached the end of my Borgen Project work? Far from it! In 2017, I submitted 20 articles to the charity, and 19 of them were published. That includes this encompassing, balanced look at how racism remains an issue in South Africa: https://borgenproject.org/laws-arent-enough-to-end-poverty-south-africa/

Though my editor made few changes to my draft, one alteration stand out to me. The article’s last sentence reads “Although laws are not enough to end poverty, persistent intervention from other countries could help.” I originally wrote, “Although laws are not enough to end poverty, aid will not fix all problems like in a movie.” I felt this conclusion represented my takeaway best and tied in nicely to the article’s beginning. But the alternation is a fair conclusion too, and it ties into The Borgen Project’s main message. It is possible to have equally valid conclusions from the same information… best to have one that lines up with your platform’s own viewpoint.

The Secret Project, Revealed

Months back, I teased a big project that would take up my writing time in late 2017 and early 2018. Funnily enough, I created this project for a platform designed to respect a bibliophile’s time. Now that the release date is set, I present, debuting exclusively on Everyst… FLYING THROUGH LIVES.

Yes, that is a Lego ship in the foreground. The Infinite Improbability Drive is weird, man.

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