The Son, The Son, and The Son: Scene 3 (Part 2)

Part 1 of this scene can be found here!

FRANKLIN

I didn’t mean to upset you. Are you trying to jump into the chalk drawing?

MARY POPPINS

What?

FRANKLIN

Like in the book, when Bert and Mary jumped into a drawing of the countryside and went there.

MARY POPPINS

Jumping into chalk! That’s completely ridiculous! I just want the chalk to shut the hell up!

FRANKLIN

Oh, I get it now.

MARY POPPINS

Just who are-

FRANKLIN

It’s like the book, see? You denied everything magical that happened in it. Well, where would you like to go?

MARY POPPINS

Nowhere!

FRANKLIN

Come now, Mary. I can travel the world too, even without your magical compass. We can go anywhere you want. You know what has great food? India! Shall I make a reservation at the reservation?

MARY POPPINS

I just told you. I shall leave when I please, and it will not be with you.

FRANKLIN

Well, what do you want to do?

MARY POPPINS

That is not the question. The question is why you care so much.

FRANKLIN

I’ve been all over, sure. Poland, Romania, Scotland, Albania, Ireland, Russia, Oman. And I loved it! I’m a citizen of the world now! But I’ve never done it with another person, let alone someone like you. Everyone else thinks I just close my eyes and mumble.

MARY POPPINS

That’s probably because you do.

FRANKLIN

But you’re the one! You can prove them wrong, because you can actually go there with me. Please Mary. There’s no point bein’ a citizen of the world if you’re not livin’ in it.

MARY POPPINS

I will accept on the condition that you leave me alone afterwards.

FRANKLIN

Ok. It’s been hot and dusty lately. Let’s go… North!

MARY POPPINS

Well?

FRANKLIN

We wait a bit now. Once my legs start burning-

MARY POPPINS

A liar’s pants will be on fire.

FRANKLIN

Once that sensation hits, you won’t stop me for nothing. You know me, I just won’t quit.

MARY POPPINS

I don’t know-

FRANKLIN

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH! Aha! Man, it’s cold this time of year in Australia! Hey, that dime store might have some good stuff in it, if the Eskimos inside don’t cannibalize us.

MARY POPPINS

I’ve had quite enough of this!

FRANKLIN

Wow! Would you look at that, Mary! A real elephant! With flippers and everything! Ow!

MARY POPPINS

I hope I’ve taught you a lesson, mister.

FRANKLIN

Argall.

MARY POPPINS

I didn’t ask.

FRANKLIN

I’m sorry it wasn’t a jolly holiday for you. It’s not like- actually, I don’t remember you havin’ any fun in the book.

MARY POPPINS

I’m too old for fun.

FRANKLIN

Now what sense does that make?

MARY POPPINS

Did I say something wrong?

FRANKLIN

Well, now I’m just curious. Your time with the kids in the book, and this- is it all a chore for you? Because I’m not sure why you’d stick around otherwise.

MARY POPPINS

We had a deal.

FRANKLIN

Look, you know me, I’m not one for pushin’. But I’d love to live in your world of zoo parties and umbrella flying. Why don’t you?

MARY POPPINS

Well, Mr. Argall, perhaps you should return to Australia or wherever in hell you went to and enjoy yourself. Now, if you excuse me, the East Wind has arrived. It’s time for my morning commute.

FRANKLIN

Aren’t you supposed to be floating away?

MARY POPPINS

You’ll have to speak louder. I’m floating away.

FRANKLIN

That shouldn’t be no commute. I think I understand. All that stuff everybody’s enchanted by, you’re sick of. Well, if you don’t mind me asking- has anything in your world tried to kill you yet? Because my lightbulb did. It asked me to kill you as a job

MARY POPPINS

I heard something about a job. If you have a job to do, you best hurry up and do it, then.

FRANKLIN

But I won’t! I don’t care if the lightbulb makes that noise forever, or if no one will ever like me again. Mary Poppins, you will make my life worse. But you’ll make my world better. That’s why you watch over the kids. They haven’t lost their innocence yet. Not like you.

MARY POPPINS

Why haven’t you?

FRANKLIN

I’ve had every reason to. People spit at me on their walk. I can play my ribs like a piano. No one believes I can travel. Why do I love the world? Because I choose to. But none of it matters if I can’t choose you.

MARY POPPINS

How would we ride it?

FRANKLIN

Yes?

MARY POPPINS

The elephant. However are we supposed to ride it? We’re in Australia, and we still act as if we haven’t left London yet. Why are we wasting our time?

FRANKLIN

Silly thing to do, ain’t it?

FRANKLIN and MARY POPPINS exit.

ORSON

“And then Franklin and Mary flew over to Germany and kicked Adolf Hitler in the moustache. They invited Jane, Michael, Mr. Banks, Mrs. Banks, and the radio to their wedding. If took some effort, but my father convinced the lightbulb to screech out the Wedding March for my mother.

“Mary Poppins gave birth to Orson Argall, the Lord and Savior of the world. We never had any troubles ever again. No one ever took mother and father away and put them in those white coats where you have to hug yourself. I was not six years old when it did not happen. The End.”

And that’s my story. I see some of you have some questions. First of all, I would like to make one thing perfectly clear. I never need anything explained to me.

The curtains pull back.

SABINA

That was a lovely story.

ORSON

Now leave me alone.

SABINA

Perhaps we can make a deal.

ORSON

No.

SABINA

I can get more cigarettes. I need to know first why you steal them.

ORSON

You want me to conjure them? I could do that all my life. But I’m tired nowadays.

SABINA

How can you be too tired to be God?

ORSON

It’s a mystery.

SABINA

And why do you like mysteries?

ORSON

I never met a good answer in my life. They think they can get at you, at the soul in your skin, because they wear white coats? That they can take away your parents and turn them into machines. I can be anything I want to be, me folks said. I can make it. But then the robots got them, last I saw.

SABINA

You told me yesterday that your parents created fireworks and built a large inheritance for you.

ORSON

Why can’t you just settle down? You’re as bad as the two machines there. They go on and on about Christ’s life and who he represents and what he looks like… he’s white, I tell you! A white man! And they don’t believe me!

SABINA

We see things differently. Jesus was born in the Middle-

ORSON

You can be born with towelheads without being one. I tell them, I’m white, the Jesus on the Church walls is white. That’s it.

SABINA

He can’t choose what color to be. I know that can be disheartening, but sometimes character serves context.

ORSON

I don’t get it.

SABINA

Well, Conway and I discussed this a while back. You create yourself out of the reactions of those around you. If you made this world half-asleep, maybe someone else told you about Jesus. We don’t live in a- a vacuum-

ORSON

Are we done? I want to stop these talks. Why won’t you let us stop?

SABINA

We can stop. Conway, make sure nothing happens between you three.

CONWAY

You can trust me. Again, I’m deeply sorry about letting in those prostitutes yesterday.

ORSON

They said they loved me!

Apartment Lights down, Street Lights up. SABINA paces in the town square.

SABINA

Ok, what to say, what to say. “Kim, I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you.” No, too passive-aggressive. “Kim, I’ll take you to a nice dinner.” No, she’ll see right through that. “Kim, I’m sorry I hurt you?” Did that even happen? Maybe she’s right, maybe I have been hurting people. Well, you know, maybe it’s ok, maybe we should just go to the theater again and I’ll be a better person from now on. The theater. Why did I never become an actress? It seems like it’d work so well for me…

SABINA steps in front of the closing curtains. Drum roll plays.

ANNOUNCER

And the Oscar goes to… Sabina Capello for her role as Loki in “The Avengers 5: Thanks Again for all the Money.”

“Rondeau from Suite de Symphonies,” by Mouret, plays. SABINA picks up her gold statuette from the podium.

SABINA

Thank you, thank you all! I’d love to thank not just the academy, but my old acting teachers for revealing the complexities of human emotion to me. In fact, I’d like to thank all my grade school teachers. Until I got in trouble, I got my start from mocking you.

REPORTERS 1 and 2 enter.

REPORTER 2

Miss Capello, Miss Capello, will this Oscar be stored alongside you other nine Oscars?

SABINA

Oh well, you know me, I’d rather not discuss the many times I’ve won Best Actress.

REPORTER 1

Miss Capello, People magazine ranked your current lovability as higher than the Beatles at the peak of their fame. Do you, like them, consider yourself ‘bigger than Jesus’?

Music fades out.

SABINA

Well, I don’t mean to brag, but- huh.

The curtains pull back. REPORTERS 1 and 2 exit. SABINA sits down and thinks. Lights fade out. When lights fade back up, SABINA is taking notes.

SABINA

Kim has not visited the coffee shop or her volunteer shelter recently. She’s not answering her phone. I know it ended badly, but now I know how little my past matters to who I am. Environment, race, first impressions, they only begin it. A nice smile and some kind words some months ago can’t support us. She needs to know I can change. I can be the person she loved.

But this is not my journal, this is a log. I believe I understand Orson’s childlike demeanor better. He most likely inherited his condition. And the dependent tendencies of schizophrenics explain why both Orson and Conway regard their parents so highly. That still doesn’t explain, however, why each one of them is a terrible Jesus. So why pick Jesus, of all the people to be? Do they feel they have a choice about their suffering?

KIM and OLD WOMAN arrive.

OLD WOMAN

I raised him all my own, all my prayers to him. Thank you. You are angel.

KIM

Not really. Keep talking.

OLD WOMAN

He was a good boy, supported his momma. One day he come home and he- all of the- he shattered them. I thought he would shatter me.

KIM

That doesn’t sound like- well maybe he- oh great.

SABINA

I’ve been looking for you.

KIM

So much for sneaking back into your place, then.

SABINA

Back into my place?

KIM

She’s been asking everyone on the street about her son, including the drug addict I was working with. Her well-behaving son went on some sort of rampage and couldn’t stop babbling about some cosmic stream.

SABINA

So I assume the experiment’s ending, then.

KIM

Assume?

SABINA

No, it will. I can change for you.

OLD WOMAN

Please, he was such good boy, I pray for him everyday, all the day.

KIM

That’s not- look, I’m taking them to a hospital with or without you. You don’t need to be someone else for me.

OLD WOMAN

My son is very sick…

SABINA

What if I wanted to keep them there? To study them. You wouldn’t want me to choose that.

KIM

Speaking of which. What are you trying to prove again? You’re a lazy student, but even you know you can’t equate choice with a mental condition.

SABINA

It’s a subtle choice.

OLD WOMAN

Please my son-

SABINA

You had a religious upbringing too. And your spare time is for helping the ill, not being one.

KIM

You had to have learned more than that this month.

OLD WOMAN

My son-

KIM

So did they answer your question yet? Or will they confess under more torture?

OLD WOMAN

Please-

SABINA

I’m-

OLD WOMAN

My-

SABINA

Well-

OLD WOMAN smacks SABINA with her purse.

OLD WOMAN

We find my son now! No more talking!

SABINA

Ok, ok! Goddammit, I-

OLD WOMAN hits her again.

SABINA

See, this is why I have to act like a Christian girl!

Read the finale here.

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One thought on “The Son, The Son, and The Son: Scene 3 (Part 2)

  1. Pingback: The Son, The Son, and The Son: Scene 3 (Part 1) | Word Salad Spinner

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