All you college students buried under a snowfall of syllabi should enjoy this. It’s a syllabus for No Shame Theatre in Iowa City, which I’ve mentioned before here, and it’s the best goddamn syllabus you’ll ever read in your life. Even if you don’t go to the University of Iowa or don’t know who these people are, I still think you’ll enjoy this parody. As always, come to our shows to see more material like this!
The University of Iowa
The College of Dumb Fuckery
Department of Theater
COURSE NUMBER: THTR:!!!!:!!!!
COURSE NAME: No Shame Theater
CREDIT HOURS: .02
COURSE DAY AND TIME: Friday from 11 p.m. until David wins another Cards Against Humanity game
ROOM: 172 of the Theater Building
INSTRUCTORS’ NAMES: Rai Tokuhisa
The Spirit of the Books
OFFICE: The Theater Lobby
FACEBOOK: Iowa City’s No Shame Theater https://www.facebook.com/noshametheateriowacity
OFFICE HOURS: By appointment, otherwise Fridays 10 pm- 11 pm
COURSE MATERIALS: An Imaginative Brain
A Good Sense of Humor
A Copy of Your Piece So Lighting Knows When To Operate
The Wicked Bible*
*you’ll know you have the right Bible when Exodus 20:14 reads “Thou shalt commit adultery”
COURSE DESCRIPTION: No Shame Theater has three rules…
- Your piece must be original
- Your piece must be under five minutes
- Your piece cannot hurt anything physically.
Every week, audience members can submit any piece of art they want featured in that night’s show. At 11, on Friday nights, we gather up what’s been submitted and put on a kickass show with it. Students will study comedy, poetry, dancing, dick jokes, ramblings, mayhem, deviancy, and human anatomy in this class.
There is an anonymous submission box in the Theater Building labeled ‘No Shame,’ where you can submit stuff without us finding out who gave it. It’s with the other boxes. Ask Nick where it is, and he’ll keep your secret.
On the Facebook page, you can vote on which pieces you like the best in the comment section. On Dead Week (the show before Best Of), the No Shame Board will tally up the votes and choose which pieces will be preformed again at BEST OF NO SHAME. This show takes place in Theater B. If your piece is selected and you cannot attend the show, please let us know by 12/7/15 so we can replace you.
COURSE OUTCOMES: By the end of this course, you should have already…
- Made someone laugh.
- Made someone cry.
- Made someone cry without having to punch them.
- Won a game of Cards Against Humanity
- Gotten roped into a No Shame piece that you hate
- Gotten roped into a No Shame piece you wish you could play all the parts in.
- Teased Nick about dressing up as Hitler that one time.
- Asked Rai why she doesn’t play her guitar anymore.
- Comprehended one of Zach’s skits.
- Kicked Tyler in the balls.
- Kicked around a ball the Theater Department left behind.
- Kicked EVERYTHING.
- Whined about no one showing up.
- Found out what the hell ‘Spirit of the Books’ refers to.
- Extrapolated why art produces a visceral, emotional reaction in unique ways to such similar people, and designed a work of art that will make everyone weep with joy, with the exception of John Shang.
- STOPPED SAYING PRAISE EDINGER IT WAS A ONE TIME THING YOU ASSHOLES
There are 100 points available throughout the semester.
Every guest you bring to No Shame gives you 10 points.
Every time you pull out the cheeks of a No Shame board member and imitate their voice to say, “I’m a fish, glub glub glub!” you gain 5 points.
Every second of applause your skit earns you gives you 1 point.
A= 100-90 points
B= 89-70 points
C= 69-50 points
D= 49-30 points
F= 29-0 points
G= i-100 points
ATTENDENCE: There is no attendance sign-in for No Shame Theatre. Failing to attend or submit work to No Shame will result in a whiny “Come on!” from one of your instructors.
- You are expected to not be a dick. Unless it’s funny, of course.
- You are expected to take your copy of The Wicked Bible and read from it when Brother Jed comes to town.
- You are required to have fun. Those not having fun will have a happy hot poker shoved into their nosey-wosey.
- You must prepare for any quizzes/tests/game shows/ Mad Libs/snake attacks No Shame will throw at you. The University of Iowa suggests readying for these by walking into the office of one of your teachers, bursting into tears, then storming out.
- If you are unable to take a test/ attend a show, you must draw a favorite cartoon character from your youth, then draw yourself raping the character.
- If you submit an unoriginal work, you must submit original work for the next three shows following.
- You must go to https://www.facebook.com/noshametheateriowacity, like the page, and then post to the page your most embarrassing memory.
8/28: What is No Shame? Why does it itch?
Assignment: Preform a scene from ‘Requiem for a Dream’ with Goldfish crackers.
9/4: What are you doing in my house?
Assignment: Watch this video on transphobia in the original Star Trek show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0YC3RpvE3M
9/11: PINE TREE HEAVEN IS FOR OUTSIDE SNOBS
Assignment: A moment of silence for those married on 9/11
9/18: Why is my poop green? Why am I green?
Assignment: Eat 5 pixie sticks, and then sit still for an hour staring at a blank wall. If you don’t move a muscle, then the premonitions will begin.
9/25: Why is it so socially unacceptable to drink in the morning? Don’t some of us need to?
Assignment: Transcribe the entirety of ‘Anna Karenina’ on your Twitter page.
10/2: Can my roommate hear me while I’m in the bathroom?
Assignment: Invent a new color.
10/9: What’s in the bag?
Assignment: Celebrate the birthday of your worst enemy. Only do this to them if their birthday is not that day.
10/16: Donald Trump, Deez Nuts, or Deezald Trump Nuts?
Assignment: Drive down Iowa City for 30 minutes. Pretend you’re a self-driving car. Convince someone else you’re a self-driving car.
10/23: When pigeons headbob, are they practicing for their heavy metal band?
Assignment: Fulfill someone else’s dream, and then rub it in their face.
10/30: Why does no one come to our Halloween shows?
Assignment: Scream. Scream Louder. Louder.
11/6: Can I fit my head between the bars in this metal gate?
Assignment: Prove this fact wrong: it’s impossible for your tongue to lick your friend’s elbow.
11/13: If I turn my underwear inside out, can I use it again before washing?
Assignment: Bring Nick a gift for the next show. No, not your underwear.
NO SHOWS HAPPY THANKSGIVING
12/4: Can you believe Nick’s 23 today?
Assignment: Watch the lowest-rated movie on the streaming service of your choice.
12/11: BEST OF NO SHAME FALL 2015 YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY.
CLASS POLICIES AND PROCEDURES
Most board members can be found between 10-11 on Fridays nights in the Theater Lobby, talking and laughing and snorting coke. Questions may be addressed to them, the Facebook page, or during the middle of a religious leader’s sermon.
is awesome and you should totally do it. Just not while people preform, ‘cause that shit’s rude.
ACCOMMODATIONS FOR DISABILITIES
A student seeking academic accommodations should first register with Student Disability Services and then meet with a No Shame member privately to make particular arrangements. See http://sds.studentlife.uiowa.edu/ for more information.
Also, Tyler will carry you around if you ask.
All CLAS students or students taking classes offered by CLAS have, in essence, agreed to the College’s Code of Academic Honesty: “I pledge to do my own academic work and to excel to the best of my abilities, upholding the IOWA Challenge. I promise not to lie about my academic work, to cheat, or to steal the words or ideas of others; nor will I help fellow students to violate the Code of Academic Honesty.” Any student committing academic misconduct is reported to the College and placed on disciplinary probation or may be suspended or expelled (CLAS Academic Policies Handbook).
CLAS FINAL EXAMINATION POLICIES
MAKING A SUGGESTION OR COMPLAINT
Just come up to us before or after a show. We love to talk with people who know what they’re doing, because we sure as hell don’t. You like that joke? Good. It was a joke, and not at all a cry for help.
UNDERSTANDING SEXUAL HARASSMENT
Ok, I’m gonna drop the comedy act here to just say FUCK YOU if you sexually harass someone IN OR OUTSIDE OF No Shame. We’ll kick your ass. Don’t push us.
I suppose I need to do some wacky jokes about this part of the syllabus now. That’s what I have to do, being the edgy comedian I am. Ummmm… ummmmmmmmmmmm… Hey. You ever notice how… how… how… how the word ‘ass’ is in the word ‘harass,’ and that’s funny, that’s funny because, because OH CHRIST I CAN’T DO IT JUST CRUCIFY ME NOW
REACTING SAFELY TO SEVERE WEATHER
In severe weather, No Shame attendees should climb a telephone pole naked and scream out Bible loopholes.
We have our own version of Hawkalert, where Rai just shouts “SHIT’S FUCKED” over and over until the threat goes away.
STUDENT CLASSROOM BEHAVIOR
Snap when you hear something you like/find meaningful. Laugh when you want to laugh. Applaud people. Don’t be a cunt.
RESOURCES FOR STUDENTS (this is the serious part)
- Writing Center: 110 English-Philosophy Building, writingcenter.uiowa.edu
- Mental Health Resources: http://studenthealth.uiowa.edu/services/psychiatry
- 24 Hour Crisis Line via The Johnson County Crisis Center (319) 351-0140
- Rape Victim Advocate Program (RVAP): (319) 335-6000. rvap.org/home/
- Monsoon United Asian Women of Iowa: (866) 881-4641
- UI Campus Police: (319) 335-5022. http://police.uiowa.edu/be-proactive/reporting-sexual-assault
- Domestic Violence Intervention Project (DVIP): (319) 351-1043