An Audio Analysis of “Rogue One”

My brother and I recorded a podcast about Star Wars… seems like I had more to say! Enjoy listening to this while you prepare for a party, clean up after a party, or generally need something to listen to while you’re being productive!

My written review, composed a week before I recorded this podcast, can be found here.

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I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 1

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AUTHOR’S NOTE: After making this post, I did some edits to the story’s beginning. If you want to read what I originally had (including some deleted scenes), then go here and enter in the password “errishuman” . On to the story proper!

The nurse lady says that my health insurance doesn’t cover the condition I called, “getting my ass kicked by Beaver-Man.” Unbelievable. Can you see what I’m dealing with here? I gave this woman at the desk of the emergency room my name, my ID, even a State Secret my boss told me about. I’m in trouble if my wife looks up my medical records. And this nurse won’t even give me the courtesy of trusting my henchman honor. She didn’t even mention insurance, I had to bring it up, and I’m pretty 100% sure that that’s not how it goes, okay? Our president passed a health care bill right after the Omni-Man Collateral Damage Act. Something about health care had to change. In my line of work, people my age need all the help they can get. Estoy a punto de llorar.

            Maybe you didn’t understand what I just said. Maybe you only speak English so far. Let’s keep it that way. I’d like to have some thoughts for myself, and I let you into my head as a favor, gracias.

Continue reading “I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 1”

Rejection #2

This happened a while ago, and it didn’t help an already crippling month.

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I suppose I get my hopes up for no reason each time I submit, but… dammit, everything went so right with this story for so long. I wrote “I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendo)” on a strict schedule after months of letting the tale marinate in my brain, just because it was a story I wanted to tell. I edited the work six weeks after I finished it, even though I doubted there would be a market for it. And, wouldn’t you know it, a submission call for an anthology appeared asking for diverse, unique superhero stories… just like the one I wrote! The stars aligned, and in the end they spelled out a heavenly message reading, “We like this story, but not LIKE like it,” a kind message that’s still as indefinite as the depths of space.

That was then. Here’s what I do to move forward.

My favorite movie of all time is “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” I’d love to discuss the characters, story, and relevance of this film at a later date, but I imagine you all have the same question on your minds: “Do you watch this movie on Halloween, or on Christmas?” My answer: I watch it whenever I get a rejection letter. More than just counterbalancing a low point in my life, watching this movie (and its climactic song) reminds me that failure does not define you, and that your dignity is essentially invincible. So the next time you get a rejection letter, use that stumbling block as an excuse to watch your favorite movie. Or, you could watch mine and sing along, from Jack’s mopey beginning to his triumphant end…

A Review/Analysis of “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”

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It is a dark time for Word Salad Spinner.

Ok, it was a dark time for this blog, but I’m back now! You know me; I can’t resist Star Wars, or even an irrelevant allusion. Which brings me to my two disclaimers before I complete the last segment of my blog’s brief detour into reviewing sci-fi movies:

  • My love for this franchise extends beyond reoccurring characters with great recasting and even better makeup. Even obscure references like “force of others” and “Whills” cause my critical facilities to skip a beat. It’s folly to ask for “objective criticism” in art, and if you want an objective opinion from me on Star Wars, you might as well deck the halls with boughs of folly (Disclaimer 1.5: I’m excited to be writing again and I’m out of practice too!).
  • I stand by all the negatives I brought up in my Star Wars Episode VII review. But you should know: I, from the depths of my still-healing soul, love that movie. My attitude in the review I wrote was “pretty good for a cash-in,” but every time I rewatched that movie, the new characters, old twists, and sheer beauty of it all turned me into a kid every time. It’s still better than the prequels and not as good as the originals, but the movie is not so middle-of-the-road in terms of quality.

So I’ve probably already spoiled in the disclaimer (and will spoil plot details after this paragraph, turn back now ye unworthy) that I really liked Rogue One. As good as The Force Awakens? In many ways better than Episode VII, and in many ways worse. But like Episode VII, its characters are both well developed and poorly planned, its fanservice wonderful and unnecessary, its action comprehensive and unclear. Despite all these contradictory comparisons, the movie remains an entirely different creature from The Force Awakens. If you disliked Episode VII, this movie will probably address a lot of your complaints. Overall, it’s an engaging, if occasionally frustrating and ultimately shallower, experience.

Continue reading “A Review/Analysis of “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story””