I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 3

Part 1 can be found here.

Part 2 can be found here.


“I didn’t expect to see you here man,” Jack says to me. His voice speaks with all the strength needed to talk through his smashed nose and eviscerated- ah, almost let it slip there.

The only person I’ve seen angrier is your mother.

“You gonna answer me or what?” says Jack.

Continue reading “I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 3”


I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 2

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I made some changes to Part 1, so you might want to read here before you begin.


Jack and OddBo, they’re next to each other, talking. Jack declares that if anyone gives him a hospital bill, he’ll push it into their eye socket. Jack said that, and he didn’t see my hand hovering over his shoulder, about to tap him. I dart my hand behind my back. I’d rather go round two with Beaver-Man than face Jack on a bad day.

Continue reading “I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 2”

I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 1



AUTHOR’S NOTE: After making this post, I did some edits to the story’s beginning. If you want to read what I originally had (including some deleted scenes), then go here and enter in the password “errishuman” . On to the story proper!

The nurse lady says that my health insurance doesn’t cover the condition I called, “getting my ass kicked by Beaver-Man.” Unbelievable. Can you see what I’m dealing with here? I gave this woman at the desk of the emergency room my name, my ID, even a State Secret my boss told me about. I’m in trouble if my wife looks up my medical records. And this nurse won’t even give me the courtesy of trusting my henchman honor. She didn’t even mention insurance, I had to bring it up, and I’m pretty 100% sure that that’s not how it goes, okay? Our president passed a health care bill right after the Omni-Man Collateral Damage Act. Something about health care had to change. In my line of work, people my age need all the help they can get. Estoy a punto de llorar.

            Maybe you didn’t understand what I just said. Maybe you only speak English so far. Let’s keep it that way. I’d like to have some thoughts for myself, and I let you into my head as a favor, gracias.

Continue reading “I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 1”