I Am A Mountain (y estoy hundiendome): PART 1

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: After making this post, I did some edits to the story’s beginning. If you want to read what I originally had (including some deleted scenes), then go here and enter in the password “errishuman” . On to the story proper!

The nurse lady says that my health insurance doesn’t cover the condition I called, “getting my ass kicked by Beaver-Man.” Unbelievable. Can you see what I’m dealing with here? I gave this woman at the desk of the emergency room my name, my ID, even a State Secret my boss told me about. I’m in trouble if my wife looks up my medical records. And this nurse won’t even give me the courtesy of trusting my henchman honor. She didn’t even mention insurance, I had to bring it up, and I’m pretty 100% sure that that’s not how it goes, okay? Our president passed a health care bill right after the Omni-Man Collateral Damage Act. Something about health care had to change. In my line of work, people my age need all the help they can get. Estoy a punto de llorar.

            Maybe you didn’t understand what I just said. Maybe you only speak English so far. Let’s keep it that way. I’d like to have some thoughts for myself, and I let you into my head as a favor, gracias.